I grew up in the Bible Belt. Law keeping and leagalism was my religion. I thought that by not drinking, smoking, or having sex before marriage I was a better Christian and that made me better than others.
I was proud and arrogant with my religion. I knew nothing of genuine Christian love, being missional, or how to have authentic relationships with non-believers (and with believers for that matter).
My friends and I would choose not to do things that would "hurt our witness" or do things that would "help our witness." As a High School Sophomore, I carried my big study Bible to class everyday my (but never read it), I asked people not to cuss around me, and only wore Christian T-Shirts. I wore three or four WWJD braclets and thought that everytime I gave one away, I was giving away the gospel, sharing my faith.
That's what was most important, my faith, my actions, my deeds.
Christ has certainly been patient with me these last 15 years. And though I'm not perfect, I am trying to be more missional.
Now, I smoke (cigaretts or cigars, whatever their smoking that's not illegal) with my non-christian (and christian) friends as we talk about our day and share our frustrations, I drink good beer with my non-christian (and christian) friends while sharing life stories, I quote lines from rated R movies and I can do a pretty good impression of Peter Griffin's laugh. A friend has actually given me the nickname "Fish" from an inside joke about an episode of South Park. He recently told me he did not care to know me until we started joking around about that episode. (Later I asked him to draw me a picture of Jesus and a Horse)
I occasionally get the gospel message in my conversations; we often talk about church, religion, the Bible, and why I am a Christian. It's done organically and I don't force anything on anyone (at least I try not to).
Jesus drank with sinners, he ate with tax collectors, touched lepers, and forgave the sins of prostitutes. I'm not trying to be missional so that I can simply build relationships and share my faith (which is really really weak at best), but so I can be closer to Jesus. Whose in?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Jesus and His Horse
So several months ago while I was walking to work I came up with an idea. I wanted to creatively develop spiritual conversations with a guy I work with without being to obvious about it.
My coworker and I have had several conversations before at work and were beginning to develop a strong trust. The idea came when I realized he came in several hours before his shift just to draw. He is actually a really good artist. He's never studied for it, never took an art class, but draws all the time.
My big idea was to ask him to draw a scene out of the Bible. The scene I thought would be interesting was the scene in Revelation 19:11-16 with Jesus on a white horse, his eyes fiery red, a sword coming out of his mouth, a fat tattoo on his leg, and his robe dripped in blood. Not exactly the conventional image of Jesus, but I still thought that it might be interesting.
It was definitely a surreal moment to see my coworker in our back room at Starbucks reading the Bible, taking notes, and he even asked me several questions about the text. He was genuinely excited about the project and was even honored that I asked.
Here's the picture that he drew for me.
My coworker and I have had several conversations before at work and were beginning to develop a strong trust. The idea came when I realized he came in several hours before his shift just to draw. He is actually a really good artist. He's never studied for it, never took an art class, but draws all the time.
My big idea was to ask him to draw a scene out of the Bible. The scene I thought would be interesting was the scene in Revelation 19:11-16 with Jesus on a white horse, his eyes fiery red, a sword coming out of his mouth, a fat tattoo on his leg, and his robe dripped in blood. Not exactly the conventional image of Jesus, but I still thought that it might be interesting.
It was definitely a surreal moment to see my coworker in our back room at Starbucks reading the Bible, taking notes, and he even asked me several questions about the text. He was genuinely excited about the project and was even honored that I asked.
Here's the picture that he drew for me.
It seems that some of the most vivd things in that passage, my friend chose not to incorporate. Why? Why take out the sword and draw Jesus with a mask?
I'm not criticizing him, not at all. But I do think it says something about how he sees or interprets Jesus. Now my friend and I have not yet really talked about his picture, but we have had tons of amazing conversations that have given me the opportunity to share parts of the gospel and who Jesus really is. The Lord is definitely working in his life and it's beginning to show.
What do you see in the picture? How would you interpret his portrayal of Jesus?
What does your Jesus look like?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
From Church Shopper to Church Specialist
So I guess we found a church. After living in Cali. since January, we finally chose a church to regularly attend...at least for now.
In the end, we had to base our decision not on a church that best fit our personality (that's how you buy a dog) or a church that had the most people in our age group or even a church with the closest ties to our denomination (the SBC).
We chose a church based upon obedience. And I don't mean how the church is an obedient faithful community. Rather our obedience to attend a church where God wants us; and for the time being we feel he wants us were we are. So now that we have a new church, I have a new problem as a church going "Specialist."
I'm in danger of becoming a Specialist.
I always have an opinion, usually negative though sometimes positive, about the service, the worship, how the small groups, should be organized (or promoted at all). I affirm the good things and get frustrated at small things. (I remind you, I genuinely feel like this is where God wants us)
What I mean is wanting things done in a "special" way or a certain manner; a special kind of sermon, or a special kind of presentation of the Lord's Supper. What's worse is that if the specifics aren't met, all the answers and every problem would be solved if only they asked the Specialist.
Specialist exist in every church all over the US. Specialist have decided not to focus on participating in any real ministry through their church, but specialize in how church should be done (mostly the church service itself, nothing really to do with the community). They complain, intentionally slow progress, attach themselves to church leadership in order to feed their ideas to the leadership, and are ultimately very legalistic.
I don't want to be that guy, the specialist, who is connected to the church in a negative way and is not really connected to the community(both in the church and out) or engaged missionally.
All that to say, we hope to begin at our new church with a positive and obedient attitude. I'm sure there will be some frustrations and we will be honest about those, but in a healthy 'encourage the whole body' kind of way. Overall, we are excited to at least know that there is a local church that we intend on regularly attending and look forward to getting further involved. Hopefully, that involvement won't just be in creating a better worship service.
And to be honest, this is probably the first Sunday in well over three years that I'm actually looking forward to going to church.
In the end, we had to base our decision not on a church that best fit our personality (that's how you buy a dog) or a church that had the most people in our age group or even a church with the closest ties to our denomination (the SBC).
We chose a church based upon obedience. And I don't mean how the church is an obedient faithful community. Rather our obedience to attend a church where God wants us; and for the time being we feel he wants us were we are. So now that we have a new church, I have a new problem as a church going "Specialist."
I'm in danger of becoming a Specialist.
I always have an opinion, usually negative though sometimes positive, about the service, the worship, how the small groups, should be organized (or promoted at all). I affirm the good things and get frustrated at small things. (I remind you, I genuinely feel like this is where God wants us)
What I mean is wanting things done in a "special" way or a certain manner; a special kind of sermon, or a special kind of presentation of the Lord's Supper. What's worse is that if the specifics aren't met, all the answers and every problem would be solved if only they asked the Specialist.
Specialist exist in every church all over the US. Specialist have decided not to focus on participating in any real ministry through their church, but specialize in how church should be done (mostly the church service itself, nothing really to do with the community). They complain, intentionally slow progress, attach themselves to church leadership in order to feed their ideas to the leadership, and are ultimately very legalistic.
I don't want to be that guy, the specialist, who is connected to the church in a negative way and is not really connected to the community(both in the church and out) or engaged missionally.
All that to say, we hope to begin at our new church with a positive and obedient attitude. I'm sure there will be some frustrations and we will be honest about those, but in a healthy 'encourage the whole body' kind of way. Overall, we are excited to at least know that there is a local church that we intend on regularly attending and look forward to getting further involved. Hopefully, that involvement won't just be in creating a better worship service.
And to be honest, this is probably the first Sunday in well over three years that I'm actually looking forward to going to church.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Incarnational Suffering: What do Missionaries do in the Midst of Trials (Part 3, The Completion)
I've titled this last part of my little series The Completion, because ultimately I think this is what suffering does, it completes being incarnational.
Imagine if Jesus had never suffered. What if Jesus' life was always easy, always simple, and his death was simple and quiet with his disciples near by (and still rose from the grave three days later)? Would it change who Jesus was?
There is something about Jesus' suffering that shows not only his humanity, but completes it. His incarnational ministry is ultimately defined by the extent he suffered; he proved just how much he was willing to embrace humanity by suffering. But I think there is still more to it.
His suffering allows us to know Him in His divinity. Maybe Jesus suffered in such a way, not so much that He could better understand us, but so that we could better know Him. Maybe when we suffer and experience trials, these things actually bring us closer to a God who understands; it is the very thing that connects us to Jesus who connects us to God.
So what does this mean for being incarnational and missional? I suppose that these same sufferings also connect us to culture, very few non-christians understand why I follow Christ(or even want to understand) but they seem to understand (or want to understand) things like loved ones in the hospital or complicated pregnancies.
I wonder if suffering completes incarnational ministry? Adversity seems to connect us to our target culture because it reveals genuine, vulnerable emotions and because they mutually shared experiences.
Christians are notorious for being fake. We want the world to see that a life with Jesus is better and easier. So, when something truly devastating happens, Christians have a tendency to hide behind fake smiles and empty words telling everyone that everything is okay.
The rest of the world, however, is desperate to see something real and genuine from Christians. "Poster-Model Christianity" is sold to be the shiny christian example and the most effective evangelistic tool; they will see Christ by our example. (that should be another post). But suffering brings out this genuineness and tears down the poster. Instead of hiding, missionaries elicit confidence in friends (even if they are non-christians) by sharing openly about their experience.
It's certainly not easy and it doesn't make the current situation go away or smooth over. But then again, being a missionary isn't easy at all, it's uncomfortable and somedays it's outright painful.
Suffering connects us to the Incarnate Christ and Suffering connects us Incarnationally to Culture. Suffering completes Incarnation.
Though we are still figuring things out, my wife and I are certainly closer and this has challenged us to press more into Christ.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers...
Imagine if Jesus had never suffered. What if Jesus' life was always easy, always simple, and his death was simple and quiet with his disciples near by (and still rose from the grave three days later)? Would it change who Jesus was?
There is something about Jesus' suffering that shows not only his humanity, but completes it. His incarnational ministry is ultimately defined by the extent he suffered; he proved just how much he was willing to embrace humanity by suffering. But I think there is still more to it.
His suffering allows us to know Him in His divinity. Maybe Jesus suffered in such a way, not so much that He could better understand us, but so that we could better know Him. Maybe when we suffer and experience trials, these things actually bring us closer to a God who understands; it is the very thing that connects us to Jesus who connects us to God.
So what does this mean for being incarnational and missional? I suppose that these same sufferings also connect us to culture, very few non-christians understand why I follow Christ(or even want to understand) but they seem to understand (or want to understand) things like loved ones in the hospital or complicated pregnancies.
I wonder if suffering completes incarnational ministry? Adversity seems to connect us to our target culture because it reveals genuine, vulnerable emotions and because they mutually shared experiences.
Christians are notorious for being fake. We want the world to see that a life with Jesus is better and easier. So, when something truly devastating happens, Christians have a tendency to hide behind fake smiles and empty words telling everyone that everything is okay.
The rest of the world, however, is desperate to see something real and genuine from Christians. "Poster-Model Christianity" is sold to be the shiny christian example and the most effective evangelistic tool; they will see Christ by our example. (that should be another post). But suffering brings out this genuineness and tears down the poster. Instead of hiding, missionaries elicit confidence in friends (even if they are non-christians) by sharing openly about their experience.
It's certainly not easy and it doesn't make the current situation go away or smooth over. But then again, being a missionary isn't easy at all, it's uncomfortable and somedays it's outright painful.
Suffering connects us to the Incarnate Christ and Suffering connects us Incarnationally to Culture. Suffering completes Incarnation.
Though we are still figuring things out, my wife and I are certainly closer and this has challenged us to press more into Christ.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers...
Monday, September 7, 2009
Incarnational Suffering: What do Missionaries do in the Midst of Trials (part2)
I told a friend that the only thing that was getting me through the tragic events of our life was the Sovereignty of God. Knowing that this was not a random event and that God is in control is not only comforting, but reality.
Though I think I need to apologize to my friend, because the Sovereignty of God is expressed in thousands of ways that I was not considering. For one, the person sitting across from me was praying for me, grieving with me, breaking with me, and even babysat our daughter while my wife and I was in the hospital.
It's almost like he was just as much a part of it than I was.
Could it be that in God's Sovereignty, God sent me friends that would carry this with me?
You have to understand, I live in California, my closest friends and all my family live in Texas. At the moment of that conversation, we still had not plugged into a local church that we could lean on. However, God provided great friends that helped us carry this.
Missionaries should not suffer alone, because it truly takes a community of people to reach this culture. (or any culture for that matter!)
While we were overseas missionaries, we had an extensive network of prayer partners that we updated every month or so. We informed them how we were doing and listed out prayer requests. Returning to the U.S, the e-mails of course stopped, because we were no longer "missionaries."
While I was driving to meet my wife at the hospital, I knew I no longer had that same list of prayer partners, but I did have a cell phone. I called pretty much everyone on my cell phone phonebook list explaining the situation and that we really needed prayer. Over the course of that week, I kept calling and updating my friends and kept asking for prayer.
Missionaries seek not just prayer but communal prayer. All our friends were praying for the same thing.
What do missionaries do in the midst of tragedy and suffering? -Pray like crazy while having others pray like crazy. Missionaries respond in prayer, whether rejoice or sorrow.
Pray on...
-tam
Though I think I need to apologize to my friend, because the Sovereignty of God is expressed in thousands of ways that I was not considering. For one, the person sitting across from me was praying for me, grieving with me, breaking with me, and even babysat our daughter while my wife and I was in the hospital.
It's almost like he was just as much a part of it than I was.
Could it be that in God's Sovereignty, God sent me friends that would carry this with me?
You have to understand, I live in California, my closest friends and all my family live in Texas. At the moment of that conversation, we still had not plugged into a local church that we could lean on. However, God provided great friends that helped us carry this.
Missionaries should not suffer alone, because it truly takes a community of people to reach this culture. (or any culture for that matter!)
While we were overseas missionaries, we had an extensive network of prayer partners that we updated every month or so. We informed them how we were doing and listed out prayer requests. Returning to the U.S, the e-mails of course stopped, because we were no longer "missionaries."
While I was driving to meet my wife at the hospital, I knew I no longer had that same list of prayer partners, but I did have a cell phone. I called pretty much everyone on my cell phone phonebook list explaining the situation and that we really needed prayer. Over the course of that week, I kept calling and updating my friends and kept asking for prayer.
Missionaries seek not just prayer but communal prayer. All our friends were praying for the same thing.
What do missionaries do in the midst of tragedy and suffering? -Pray like crazy while having others pray like crazy. Missionaries respond in prayer, whether rejoice or sorrow.
Pray on...
-tam
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Incarnational Suffering: What do Missionaries do in the Midst of Trials?(part 1)
Friday afternoon, July 24th, I received a phone call that changed my life forever. I received a call to meet my wife at the doctor's office.
My wife had a sonogram, she was 17 weeks pregnant at the time, which showed fluid on the baby's brain and a cyst was discovered on the baby's spinal column. Also, my wife was producing more placenta than normal posing a very high risk to her health.
(Also, my wife has a blood deficiency which makes very prone to clotting. She has already had several clots in her lungs and stomach. Several weeks ago, the same doctor discovered a clot in her stomach.)
We were left to make an almost impossible decision with a number of risk factors. We could continue doing tests that only increase my wife's health risks, or we could end the pregnancy.
The very next day, Saturday, my wife's health worsened. She was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed having early signs of preeclampsia. Her chances of safely caring the baby to a healthy premature stage was now unlikely. The chances of the baby surviving after birth--even less likely. The decision was made to induce labor.
We lost Baby Mills on Monday, July 27th.
This has certainly been a horrific experience, one that I would not wish on anyone. We have seen Christ with us through all of this! He is indeed our Great High Priest who is able to sympathize with my weakness and remains sinless. We have drawn from the confidence that Christ is alive and well, interceding on our behalf! But this last week, I have been asking my self 100's of questions, these are just a few.
How are missionaries supposed to suffer? How do we deal with grief? Is there such a thing as suffering Incarnationally? What does the Non-Christian community think when they see Christians suffering? What about the role of the church when it comes to suffering? How should the church handle grief and suffering?
-to be continued...
My wife had a sonogram, she was 17 weeks pregnant at the time, which showed fluid on the baby's brain and a cyst was discovered on the baby's spinal column. Also, my wife was producing more placenta than normal posing a very high risk to her health.
(Also, my wife has a blood deficiency which makes very prone to clotting. She has already had several clots in her lungs and stomach. Several weeks ago, the same doctor discovered a clot in her stomach.)
We were left to make an almost impossible decision with a number of risk factors. We could continue doing tests that only increase my wife's health risks, or we could end the pregnancy.
The very next day, Saturday, my wife's health worsened. She was admitted to the hospital and diagnosed having early signs of preeclampsia. Her chances of safely caring the baby to a healthy premature stage was now unlikely. The chances of the baby surviving after birth--even less likely. The decision was made to induce labor.
We lost Baby Mills on Monday, July 27th.
This has certainly been a horrific experience, one that I would not wish on anyone. We have seen Christ with us through all of this! He is indeed our Great High Priest who is able to sympathize with my weakness and remains sinless. We have drawn from the confidence that Christ is alive and well, interceding on our behalf! But this last week, I have been asking my self 100's of questions, these are just a few.
How are missionaries supposed to suffer? How do we deal with grief? Is there such a thing as suffering Incarnationally? What does the Non-Christian community think when they see Christians suffering? What about the role of the church when it comes to suffering? How should the church handle grief and suffering?
-to be continued...
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Moldy Cup Lady
One of the great things about being a barista at Starbucks is that any time a customer has a problem and wants to complain about something, you can always say, "Here is my supervisor and he'll answer any of your questions." Then you get to watch all the action from a safe distance.
I just happen to be a supervisor.
On one such occasion, a lady came into my store and wanted to exchange a coffee mug for a new coffee mug. The problem was she did not have a receipt, a big issue when wanting to exchange something at Starbucks. (The policy is there must be a receipt and the purchase has to be within 3 months, neither applied with this lady) She of course began with the barista at the register, who very quickly handed the situation over to me.
She began explaining to me what she wanted and why. She had apparently received a starbucks tumbler at Christmas (this story takes place during April) and some mold had formed on the inside of the cup. So, she wanted to replace it.
My response: "I'm very sorry but our policy states..." This just mad her more mad and replied, "Well where is this policy written? I want to see it!" This threw me off guard. Like there is some Starbucks Bible in the back or something.
The discussion continued as she tried to coerce me to give in and give her what she wanted, but my reply was always, "I'm very sorry, but our policy says..." Finally, when she realized she wasn't getting a free tumbler, she said, "Well this is a tragedy."
I live in one of the most affluent counties in the U.S. with the highest cost of living in the U.S. Million dollar homes housing million dollar attitudes. And here was a lady trying to convince me that this $15 moldy cup was a "tragedy."
9/11, Iranian protesters, Burmese monks protesting, malnutrition in third-world countries, third-world countries, North Korean nuclear threat, poverty, sex trafficking, starvation, women's rights in the Middle East, etc...
How do you even begin to share the gospel, let alone be an incarnational missionary, with someone whose uses the word tragedy to describe a moldy Starbucks cup?
The lady never returned or took up my offer to speak with the store manager. And for all I know her cup is still moldy.
I'm beginning to understand a little more about what Jesus meant when he commented on how difficult it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. "When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful for he had great possessions." Mat. 19:22
I just happen to be a supervisor.
On one such occasion, a lady came into my store and wanted to exchange a coffee mug for a new coffee mug. The problem was she did not have a receipt, a big issue when wanting to exchange something at Starbucks. (The policy is there must be a receipt and the purchase has to be within 3 months, neither applied with this lady) She of course began with the barista at the register, who very quickly handed the situation over to me.
She began explaining to me what she wanted and why. She had apparently received a starbucks tumbler at Christmas (this story takes place during April) and some mold had formed on the inside of the cup. So, she wanted to replace it.
My response: "I'm very sorry but our policy states..." This just mad her more mad and replied, "Well where is this policy written? I want to see it!" This threw me off guard. Like there is some Starbucks Bible in the back or something.
The discussion continued as she tried to coerce me to give in and give her what she wanted, but my reply was always, "I'm very sorry, but our policy says..." Finally, when she realized she wasn't getting a free tumbler, she said, "Well this is a tragedy."
I live in one of the most affluent counties in the U.S. with the highest cost of living in the U.S. Million dollar homes housing million dollar attitudes. And here was a lady trying to convince me that this $15 moldy cup was a "tragedy."
9/11, Iranian protesters, Burmese monks protesting, malnutrition in third-world countries, third-world countries, North Korean nuclear threat, poverty, sex trafficking, starvation, women's rights in the Middle East, etc...
How do you even begin to share the gospel, let alone be an incarnational missionary, with someone whose uses the word tragedy to describe a moldy Starbucks cup?
The lady never returned or took up my offer to speak with the store manager. And for all I know her cup is still moldy.
I'm beginning to understand a little more about what Jesus meant when he commented on how difficult it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. "When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful for he had great possessions." Mat. 19:22
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